Well, the whole family is finally recovered from the swine flu. When all was said and done, it had run rampant through our home for nigh on two weeks leaving a trail of destruction in its wake. In addition to taking down Alex and Emma, both Hannah and Holly got hit pretty hard too. Thankfully everything is now back to normal and everyone survived.
I was fortunate in that I managed to avoid becoming ill. I’ve since been exposed to the swine flu virus again at work (allegedly) and still feel fine. Either my immune system is freaking amazing or I’m doing something right because I’ve had multiple encounters with swine flu and come out on top every single time. Since I seem to be so lucky, I thought I’d share what has worked for me so that it can hopefully help you, my faithful reader, stay healthy.
- I wash my hands a lot. I also use soap which I’m told is helpful. I’m told this is also good for stopping the spread of other diseases especially before preparing food or going to the bathroom. When I’m not washing my hands, I’m using Purell.
- I have added elderberry extract to my daily dose of vitamins. Sure, kids at school can tell my kids that their father smells of elderberries but I’m OK with that. I read that elderberry actually works better than Tamiflu, and I can say from experience that it does. When Alex was on Tamiflu, he went insane. Literally. Even after he was off the drug, the effects lingered for days. It was pretty scary. There were no side effects from the elderberry and everyone seemed to get better faster than Alex did.
- Don’t make out with pigs. I can’t stress this enough. It’s just wrong. Don’t do it.
- Eat the pigs that you are refraining from making out with. If we eat all of the pigs, there will be no more swine to propagate this “swine flu” outbreak that we are currently experiencing. Plus, everything is better with bacon.
I know that I originally suspected that the reason that Emma had contracted swine flu is because of her love of all things pig. I have since decided that we must increase our pork intake in order to be able to absorb the pig antibodies which will allow us to fend off their attacks on our immune systems. For example, yesterday I ate a pulled pork sandwich. It was delicious and gave me the power of pig. Of course, the downside to eating all of the pigs means that there will be no more pigs to eat. Such a conundrum…
Hopefully these few words of advice will help keep you and your family health and swine flu free. If you have any other suggestions as to how to avoid contracting swine flu, please feel free to share them. I’d love to hear what everyone else is doing to keep from dying during this epidemic.
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But if you put lipstick on a pig……uh….nevermind.
I’ve heard that lots of Vitamin D will help with avoiding swineflu. I let Erica know about the elderberry.
I hear that vitamin D helps too. I should have mentioned that. Thanks for reminding me.