I was going to write about school tonight. I’ve been having some serious mis-adventures in my Java class that may prove humorous to my readers but then my cousin said he wanted to read my thoughts on the Hollywood writers strike. I do have some thoughts on this so I figured that my Java shame can wait for another day. Tonight, it’s all about the writer’s strike, baby!
For those who are unaware, all of your television viewing pleasure is about to come to a screeching halt. With nearly every television series that is produced being released on DVD, writers are understandably upset that the studios are making all sorts of money twice off of work that that the writers were only paid for doing once. The studios obviously don’t want to give up that revenue since nobody ever wants to give up money.
The writers have a very good point in this matter. Why shouldn’t they be getting a larger share of revenues? I read somewhere that writers only get like three cents per DVD and are looking for five or six cents. I like their argument a lot more than the studios’ argument of “We are the ones who pay you so shut up and write.” Actually they claim that ratings have been going down while costs have been going up.
The studios make a ton of money. Why not share a greater portion of it with the people that help keep them in business: the viewer. Errr… I mean the writer. Maybe ratings wouldn’t go down if they didn’t “Jericho” all of their good shows and their expenses would stay in check if they didn’t pay mediocre actors bloated salaries. I know it’s asking a lot but these people need to stop fighting over money and realize that neither one is going to get paid much while the strike is going on. Check that. Studios will still make a killing on DVD sales. I guess that the writers are right.
The real casualties in this are the caterer, the gaffer, and the candlestick maker. They depend on an entire industry to be running in order to get paid. Now their children will starve to death because shows like The Tonight Show won’t be airing new episodes. There will be no guests so there is no need to unlock the green room. Without a green room, there will be no need for finger sandwiches and Evian. And what about the finger sandwiches that are already prepared? Will they be eaten by the rich or merely discarded like a pet chihuahua after the “small dog as an accessory” chapter in our history is finally closed?
Here’s a temporary solution for the catering bunch: sign an exclusive deal to feed Rosie O’Donnell. I’m sure that she likes finger sandwiches. Come to think of it, I’m sure she likes pretty much anything that she can get down her gullet. Plus, she can probably afford to pay all of you.
As for everyone else that’s being affected, it would seem to me that all of the years that you spent waiting tables while waiting for your big break are about to pay off. Maybe you can spill some steaming hot marinara into the lap of a studio head. Of course, it will be an accident. And since your boss will likely also be a striking writer, you should still have a job at the end of the evening.
Personally, I couldn’t care less about this strike as long as it ends by the time that The Office and Heroes run out of new episodes. Survivor and The Amazing Race don’t require writers so I’m OK there. (I think that Jeff Probst came up with “The tribe has spoken” without the aid of a professional writing staff. I could be wrong though.) And really, with the way that networks like to put shows on long hiatuses right in the middle of successful seasons, thus killing all interest and ultimately leading to the cancellation of quality programming, we probably won’t even notice.
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Amen brother! I was laughing so much while reading this, it gave me an excellent idea. You, yes, YOU, Jeremiah, need to get your butt to Hollywood and become a writer. You write some funny stuff.